If Men come from Mars and Women from Venus – how will they decide where to live together? – by Marika Azzopardi

  • 25.March 2010
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So, not very long ago, St Valentine’s came along and perhaps you belong to one of those couples who made that life-changing decision on the day… you’re moving in together, getting married, setting up home. You are officially a First time buyer in Malta  Fine, great news all round & congratulations.  You scour the papers for Malta real estate ads, you make a couple of phone calls and then hit the road with property viewings in mind.  But is what he wants similar what she wants and if not, will it all become one huge bone of contention? 

It is very important not to do things rashly.  Sit down and discuss just what he wants and just what she wants.  So you’ve Our propertydecided on a maisonette in Malta or a house of character in Balzan.  You both agree you want your very own front door to yourselves. Good. But if she’s envisioning three bedrooms, a washroom and a large kitchen as prerogatives and he’s only thinking of the two-car garage in the basement and thinks an extension of his bachelor pad will be just as good for both of you, then you’d better re-think things carefully.

 1. Draw a plan.  Start with your budget – what you need to spend, what you can spend and what you might borrow. A visit to the bank will help to clear up doubts and misconceptions as to what banks will actually be able to lend you after all.

2. Then sit down and make independent lists (his and hers) of what each of you wants in your new common home. Categorise according to what you really must have (one bedroom, one bathroom, one kitchen) and what you think you should have (an extra bedroom, a large sitting room, a terrace to hang out the washing, a garage, etc). Then list what you would like to have and basically things which you possibly could live without (a garden, a sea-view, a two-car garage with automatic door, a broom cupboard, space for a walk-in wardrobe, a spare bedroom for the mum-in-law, etc)

3. Once the lists are done, compare notes and start ticking the things which you both agree on from the outset. Now you need to see what he can live without, what she can live without and what you both agree to as being indispensable for both your wellbeing.

4. Share forces and compile a joint list made up of all these ingredients. With such a list in hand, you will both know what you can compromise on and what you cannot really do without. It is highly unlikely that you will find a first Malta property which can satisfy all of your dreams, but you can always find one which comes close or perhaps which allows for eventual changes and alterations which would fall reasonably within your budget. 

5. Now consider the locality. Be practical about this one. Do the same listing exercise where you both list your favourite towns and villages and see where you can come happily together. If she wants to live close to her business, but he wants to live closer to his native village, don’t fret. Opt for an area half-way between and don’t write off one village just because of a reputation. Drive around it together and check out its less known areas about which you might just be convinced to change your mind. 

The onus is on being clear about things and being realistic about the outcome of your decisions. Start small and trust in your unifying targets which will help you slowly work your way around making your dream Malta Property come true. So many young couples start off life together sharing the tiniest of homes and whilst slowly growing out of them, moving on and up the real estate scale ladder to what they aspire to achieving one day, together.

Written by Marika Azzopardi

Marika Azzopardi is a freelance writer and journalist. A frequent contributor to national English language papers and magazines, she writes about a bevy of topics including art, people and life in general. She is also the author of children’s books and short stories, delving into adult fiction from time to time.